Spyware, I have found, provokes a succession of emotions not unlike the stages of grief. First I was in denial: these error messages don’t mean anything, these folders with “.exe” don’t mean everything, Windows always does weird things, etc. Next I panicked: I realized forces beyond my control were operating behind the scenes; I realized there was a ghost in the machine. I began by trying to root them out through official routes, using virus programs, diagnostic tools. They found nothing, so I just opened my C:\ and start deleting anything that looked suspicious.
As it became apparent my clear cutting had no impact on the ghost, I settled into acceptance: “Perhaps we can coexist,” I thought. “After all, not having internet is a mixed blessing. I cannot download an update that would destroy you, while you, my friend”—by this time I was having mental conversations with my ghost—“cannot communicate with your master.” Like a dog carrying a snake across a river, reaching the shore would put us both in danger.
But then the messages started. Every time I start up my computer I have to fight off half a dozen or more messages from my virus program urging me to “restart my computer to remove new threats.” If I were to say yes to each of these, I’d never actually use my computer. It seems even my friends have turned against me.
Add this to the little discoveries. I can’t display hidden files and folders, the option doesn’t even exist. Pressing Ctrl-Alt-Delete brings up a “disabled by your administrator,” despite the fact that I am the administrator. My virus program—friend? enemy?—quarantines about one new file every minute, each of them either 409, 410 or 18 kb in size. My laptop’s power gauge has disappeared.
Thus, I have now reached the final stage: cautious confidence. In the battle over the fate of my laptop, a conflict that has taken on Deep Blue vs. Kasparov proportions for me, I’m optimistic. After all, this is more like Bridge than Chess, and my trump card is the update. In the meantime, I’m watching the quarantine file build—while writing this post, I found 62 new friends.
Butchers, Nationalism, and Empathy
8 years ago
5 comments:
Mike: What a gem of a piece. You've tapped into the secret world of denial that most computer users, including myself, exist in. I keep getting the same pesky "exe" messages, with a little black swirling symbol. At first, I thought the worst, now I ignore it. At my peril? Maybe I'll call Charles at Main Street (after all, his last name is not Marvel for nothing) and ask him to clean my computer house with all the electronic brooms at his disposal. You presumably don't have a computer whizz at hand to do that. I'll keep my digital fingers crossed for you.
Michael, I want you to know that you now have not one, but TWO whole fans at your service and disposal. Although this last post was excellent, it did not have me giggling or exhaling quickly, briefly, and delightedly through my nose. I expect laughter while rolling on the ground next time.
Zoe: I'm surprised you found the new URL. "mikeinmexico" was two countries out of date and besides, I've enjoyed getting messages from (you may want to sit down for this) TWO people besides you and Dad who read it. Yea, I know, I was flabbergasted too. On a different note, I will try my best to make you hyperventilate next time.
i would highly recommend to coming over to the dark side and join the Mac world. Then again i will be missing out on some great musings.
I forget the url, but there are forum boards you can go to where they have you download an application that takes inventory of your computer, post it's findings on the forum, and then they tell you what to delete and how to delete it. If you are interested, let me know
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